Analieze Writing & Editorial

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Bonfire of the Heart

Mar 14, 2019 by Analieze Cervantes
I've been lost and unfocused. Trying to understand the things I can't and wanting everything just to get better. But the more I pray and wait around... I'm not getting anywhere. I can send so many applications but that doesn't do me any good. I can ask for a sense of direction to get my foot in the door but only be given hardly anything or nothing at all. I can ask for some feedback on my application and not be given an acknowledgement that its been read. I can send my work out to agencies and be given no response back. Or just receive a generic email stating that, "I won't be moving forward with your manuscript. Although, your story doesn't fit me, it might be for someone else. I wish you luck on your search."

And with job applications, it's very similar. Rather annoying how similar it is. But there isn't much I can do except re-write my cover letters and tweak up my resumes. However, there are people who have it easy and who know people to get their chance. What happened to being fair? What happened to honesty and being that example? I want to be where you are, sitting at a desk, reading and editing all day. Going to conferences and learning how to market the books you know have beauty. To take on chances on not just well known authors such as Nicholas Sparks, James Patterson and J.K. Rowling. But on those who want to be published, who want to learn, and who want to prosper. 

There is only so much I can do... Hope that someone will come across this page Analieze Cervantes-- Facebook Page and even my blog Analieze Cervantes-- Blog of Poems. To see that I have potential to be just like the famous authors above. Yet, the infinity of no's begin to weigh on me like concrete. Wanting to have a moment where the weight is lifted off my shoulders. To be hopeful that everything will soon fall into place. Dedication, is a poem that I recently wrote that describes my frustration trying to get into publishing. I feel like it truly defines my dedication and commitment to wanting to pursue my dreams. It captures the raw emotions of feeling so hopeless and lost. Describing "you" as the recruiter, agent or the publishing industry. 

I'm sure there are a lot of people who are struggling like me if not-- more. I hope they come across this and understand that they aren't alone. That there is someone out there who understands them and knows what it's like to go nowhere. I'm working different jobs, none of which are what I have chosen as a profession. It's just to make money, ever since I made the decision to leave Disney back in December. It was too time consuming. However, I was dedicated... I spent four years of my life there. Hired in when I was only 19 and left when I was 23. Four difficult years... Had miscommunications with a lot of people there. I made enemies and I also made lifetime friends. 

Disney was an amazing company to work for. I had the benefits, the hours, and some people I loved working with. The only flaw was that it wasn't related to my field of writing and editing. Being a lead for a Quick Service Restaurant wasn't what I was passionate for. I lost a lot of time. I lost sight of my writing because I was just so tried all the time. I'm two years out of college and I'm not even using the degree I studied for. I worked hard for that degree and I don't want to spend the rest of my life letting it sit there. 

I had a vision, still do and I know with my determination I'll get there.
I'll get my yes in an ocean of no's.