Analieze Cervantes

Literary Agent | Writer | Freelance Editor 

Promised Footprints

Apr 26, 2019 by Analieze Cervantes
I've been in a rut lately.
Lost the "love of my life" in a matter of seconds.

Every illusion of the perfect happily ever after: soulmates, love, understanding, marriage, and building a life together has burned to ash. The same moment when he said it was over. I trusted him with every piece of my heart. I trusted him with everything you can think of. Thinking he was the "one" for me. Yet, turning out to be one of the worst decisions I've ever made. I fell for his words, his touch, and his look. He just made sense to me because we've known each other since the age of six. So, even when you know someone that long... you don't really know them.

There are lies you are being told. There are promises that will be broken in a matter of seconds when he claims he no longer loves you or chooses you. There will be a future he painted for you inside your head-- distracting you from the red flags. Distracting you from his flaws and making himself the victim. I told him my past and he graciously opened his arms for me. Gifting me a promise ring that this time was different. That he wasn't going to be like the rest of them. He told me that he would be better for me. If I would've known that he'd break up with me 7 months later... I wouldn't even consider him. I wouldn't have allowed myself to be bathed in his "love, words, touch". He took so much away from me.

I'm having trouble sleeping. Every morning I wake up at six a.m, wanting to go back to sleep because I didn't have to get up for another hour and a half. I'm having trouble writing my story. It's been a little over a month since I've written about Ember and Lucas. I'm having trouble getting used to the idea that he's gone. That he isn't coming back for his own selfish reasons. He made it look so easily. While he's living the single life... I'm too busy trying to get myself together. I'm too busy trying to find myself again. I'm too busy trying to heal what he's broken. Trying to get rid of the memories. The memories of his smile, his laugh, his look, his touch, and his voice. He makes it look so easy.

Stripping me from his life like I meant nothing. I'm not even worthy of his text responses, instead all I get is silence. A brutal silence that I wish would end. Because I invested so much of my time and care for him. He finally broke me. He finally made me feel lost. He knows my past with countless of boys and the one thing they had in common was silence... I disliked feeling ignored. He promised he wouldn't do the same. 

So, don't believe the lies you think are beautiful and magical.
Soon you'd find yourself in a moment of memories... memories and promises that were just lies since day one.