I always wondered what it was like, feeling his breath against my lips and that tenderness quality making me weak in the knees. Or even by the way he looks into my eyes, with so much endearment. I always wondered why my heart sinks heavy like the moon every time I was near him. Why I can't stop thinking about him in the slightest? No one could possibly understand how I feel right now-- the way my fingers tremble against his skin. His lips get closer to me and I feel my heart skip a beat or two, forgetting about everything that could possibly go wrong. Forgetting the fact that I've been broken many times before. I know he's different... he wouldn't hurt me right? His green eyes pierce into mine as he moves his body closer. My lips begin to quiver as he begins to place his hand on my thigh, rubbing it softly. He caresses my lips with his and the nervousness begins to flare up. Not holding back as he holds my hand to his chest-- wrapping his arm around my waist and pressing it to his body. The electric feeling becomes overwhelming. He touches the palm of his hand to my cheek, slightly moving his thumb to my lips and touches it softly.
His green eyes shine underneath the natural light of the sun. I feel the fresh air come from the bay as he becomes even more unrealistic. His flawless skin punctures something inside my soul, it was an unnatural feeling. The light pink in his cheeks makes me believe that he’s feeling something too. I know he does, because he wouldn't hurt me. Why would he? If he feels something mutual and natural. Finally, he places his hand to my neck and leans in for a kiss. Through my mind, I begin to think of so many moments where I imagined this would happen. Being this close to me as he professes his love. Touching me and feeling what I feel. I wish I could paint this moment onto a canvas so I wouldn't forget it, so I wouldn't doubt myself. Because that's what I do. I doubt myself when things get shaky. I just need to know that his heartbeat thumps as fast as mine. I wonder if he thinks about these types of moments, whether or not I'm in his dreams. The kiss is so tender and sweet that my body begins to shiver from the happiness radiating off my skin. No one could possibly understand that this is what I want.
That this is what runs through my mind every day.
These types of moments.
Call it dreams even.
Our lips part and we look into each other’s eyes. A smile creeps up onto his face and my heart generates a warmth that could only be radiated from the sun. My body no longer shivers because I know that he feels the same way I do. How could he not? Those bright green eyes shine with so much emotion, so much care. I love him. I love everything about him. From the way he writes his name to the way he walks. Every little thing about him, intrigues me. I choose him despite his past, and his mistakes. I chose to be with him because to me, every ounce of who he was... was everything I've always wanted. But, I fell short. I no longer became his forever, but a temporary moment.
Yeah, I always wondered what it was like to be in his arms for eternity.
And that moment became a craved dream I won't ever get-- a memory of loss.